Animal testing is the use of animals in commercial or scientific experiments. These experiments ensure that the product tested is safe for human use. Although animal testing have vastly improve medical research and benefit humanity by keeping them safe, animal testing is often brutal and inhumane. Defenseless creatures are subjugated to mistreatment by people and worse cases more often than not lead to death. According to PETA, laboratory animals are forced to inhale toxic fumes, are immobilized in restraint devices, have holes drilled into their skulls, have their skin burned off, and spines crushed. Thus, animal testing is a painful experience that animals shouldn't need to face.
Others might argue that animal testing is critical to the help of medical advancement since without it, vaccines wouldn't have been made and the majority of children would have died young. However, there are flaws in the system and not everything that works on animals have the same effect as it does on humans. A painkiller called Zomax that was used in the early 1980s is an example of this. When the drug was tested on animals they showed no ill symptoms, but when humans used it, it caused 14 deaths and more than a hundred life-threatening allergies. Therefore, animal testing should not be allowed because while they can result in countless of medical breakthroughs, not all of them are necessarily safe.
Some of Zinsser's advice that I followed in the previous 2 paragraphs are sexism, mood changers, and little qualifiers. Instead of constantly writing he/she in my paragraphs I used more broader terms that can refer to anyone such as humanity, humans, people, others so it wouldn't be limited to a certain gender. In addition, I started with a mood changer, however, in my second paragraph which I think makes my sentence more stronger instead of just connecting however with the previous sentence, resulting into a run-on. I also tried not to use too many little qualifiers which I noticed occurred frequently when I'm writing. After I reread my paragraphs, I deleted the little qualifiers that I didn't need but still had and I felt like my overall argument sounded much stronger.
Work Cited:
http://www.peta.org/issues/animals-used-for-experimentation/animals-used-experimentation-factsheets/animal-experiments-overview/
http://www.pcrm.org/research/healthcare-professionals/research-compendium/an-examination-of-animal-experiments
http://www.medicaldaily.com/animal-testing-long-unpretty-history-247217
I like how you described the animal pains to encourage an emotional response from the reader. I also liked how you used statistics of the 1980 experiment on animals to show the logic behind your claims. Great use of PATHOS and LOGOS.
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